I danced on Ellen!

My awesome sister-in-law, Linz, got Matt and I tickets to the Ellen show.  I love Ellen, she is so funny and helps so many people.  My goal was to somehow get on the stage, ideally by having my name called and go sit on the couch with Ellen.  But, it was my dance skills that got me on the stage before the show started, I did not get to hug Ellen, but I did get a T-shirt.  It was sooo much fun and hopefully I did not embarrass my boo too much, I think he is use to it by now =)

      We are waiting to go into the studio: Kenny, Linz, Me, and Boo

It was her second to last episode of her tenth season, the show will air tomorrow (May 31), maybe you can see my big hair in the audience!!

Happy Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day!  Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day to remember those who died serving our country.  I am so grateful for those who willingly serve our country knowing they may die.  Usually when I think of Memorial Day, I think of the BBQ with friends and filling my belly with food all day.  Thank you to everyone who has served and protected our great country, this year I will remember you.

Self-Talk

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7)

Are you being nice to yourself?  I think we talk to ourselves all day, but are we really hard on ourselves at times?  I'm learning in my "Perfectionism" book that words matter.  Think about this thought you may have said to yourself:

I am so stupid, why did I do that?   Now compare it to this thought:  That was not very smart, but I can improve that for next time. See how you give yourself a break?  Also, there is a big difference between saying you ARE something (I am stupid) compared to you DID something (that was not smart).

So, what is my point you ask?  Be nicer to yourself, don't be so hard on you- we are NOT perfect.  I love how she says, "Changing your thoughts changes your feelings."  Life will be more enjoyable and relaxed when we learn to be less harsh, we may be even give others a break as well!

Daddy/Daughter Dance

Matt took Keia to her first Daddy/Daughter dance- it was 50's theme.  They seriously had the best time, so cute.  I use to really worry about how my kids were going to turn out (I have read too many parenting books), but then one day it hit me.  Our kids have a pretty good chance in this life because they have a good relationship with their dad.

Love these pics, Keia looks so cute in her poodle skirt and Boo is looking buff;)

Quote of the day

*Here is a visual of what Kalli looked like when she said this, there is a backpack on her as well, full of knick knacks around the house.

Setting the scene:  Kalli is helping me clean the bedrooms with windex and a cloth.

Me: Kalli, wow that looks awesome!

Kalli:  Yeah I know, it is hard to be awesome.

Tell me about it- haha j/k

Recovering Perfectionist

(I chose this picture because there is a small zit by my eye and it drove me crazy!)

Hi, my name is Kendra, and I am a Perfectionist.

I am on my way to becoming a "recovering Perfectionist."  I have researched many times trying to find books to help me with this characteristic of mine.  If I have an issue, I read a book.  It is actually really difficult to find information on Perfectionism.  I finally came across one called, "Am I a Saint Yet?  Healing the Pain of Perfectionism."  By M. Sue Bergin.  I have only just begun this book, but will most likely be posting about what I am learning from it- for those of you who don't suffer from this, you can ignore me, or you may have a relationship with someone who is.  We all in fact have a small form of it in some area of our life, but some of us it affects many areas of our lives.  I am actually forcing my boo to read it with me since we are both in fact perfectionists- I know, poor kids right?

When you are a perfectionist, you have extremely high expectations for yourself and others.  So here is a small lesson for parenting if you don't want to cause perfectionism in your children:

When we only give attention to our children when they have performed well (can cause perfectionism).  Expressing love for external performance, such as getting good grades, excelling athletically, looking good, playing an instrument well, or keeping things neat and orderly.  If our children act embarrassed or ashamed when they didn't perform to our expectations instead of encouraging them and reminding them of their strengths, then they will likely learn to draw their sense of self-worth from external approval.

Which we don't want this for our children, we want them to be valued as a Child of God, not by their successes and failures.  Remember to praise their efforts, not the results.  This is not to say we don't have high standards for our children, because we do.  To have "High Standards" is to have strivings to be a better person with feelings of satisfaction and peace, EVEN IF YOU FALL SHORT.  And yes, we all fall short sometimes... I hate that, but soon I will be okay with that =)

Happiest Mother's Day

I hope everyone had a special Mother's day. Matt did good this year... he cooked egg omelets for breakfast and we all ate outside to eat them. It was beautiful in San Diego today- almost 80 degrees. Then off to a great day at church. Matt cooked us rice bowls for dinner, the kids were not crazy about them, but I loved them!  Thanks boo, I love you.

 Anywho, Mothers. My mother Karen Jensen, has taught me a lot through my years, but her unconditional love has been the biggest blessing in my life. I know there are many kids out there who don't know if their parents love them and that breaks my heart. I feel like we can face anything in life, knowing one person loves you no matter what. One piece of advice I would like to pass on from my mother is her motto for herself. She heard it from a talk and it struck a chord, now she lives by this:

 "I may not be living my dream life, but I am living the Plan."

 As for my own bit of Motherly two cents, this is just what I have been learning lately. With my personality, it can be all or nothing. But Heavenly Father is slowly teaching me that life doesn't work this way. You don't have a good day or a bad day, we have moments of joy, moments of anger, moments of sadness running through our veins each day.  I'm learning to be fully present and not miss any joyful moments.  It is hard for me to stop my daily checklist to pause and not miss a moment with my kids.  Here is an example:  It has become quite a challenge for me to keep up on my housework, I work part-timish at home, so when I do have some "free time" I am working.  One Friday,  I finally had time to really get some cleaning done, and when I start something- I like to finish!  I was in the middle of cleaning my cluttered kitchen, when Kalli came downstairs dressed in her princess tutu.  She looked up at me with her giant brown eyes and asked if I would blow her bubbles.  I looked at her and the old me would have said- yes, after I finish cleaning the kitchen.  But the new learning me, put down my cleaning sponge and sat outside with her blowing bubbles.  I didn't take my phone and check it, it was just me and her enjoying a beautiful "moment" of laughing and blowing bubbles.  That moment didn't take my whole day or mess up my whole schedule- it took ten minutes of my time and that memory is now locked in my head.  So, to all you mothers or caregivers of children, look for and don't pass up "moments" in your day- because, they truly only last a moment.

The Birds and the Bees

Keia has been 8 for 43 days- and in those 43 days she has asked me what the "f-word" is (gasp) and how are babies made. She continues to come home and tell me the things her friends saw in their PG-13 movies. I guess I wasn't ready for Keia to start growing up. I am determined to have my children hear things from me first- since things were not discussed in my home growing up. I remember needing my first bra and I couldn't even say the word to my mom. So today was my first simple discussion on the "birds and the bees"- which by the way people started using in the "old days" because bees carry and deposit the pollen into flowers (good intro into the man's role) and birds lay eggs (lets talk ovulation). With my heart racing a bit, I decided to just give her a few details and see if she would ask for more information. I basically talked about the sperm reaching an egg and if a miracle occurs it will make a baby. That satisfied her for now- Keia is always very curious. If anyone has any suggestions on this topic- please let me know!! I can do this.

quote of the day

In the tub with Kalli (she just turned 3)...I thought was still okay. Kalli: (in an innocent voice that would say, I like your hair) "I like your boobies mommy." Me: Ummm, thanks Kalli, I like your hair.

torn.

So maybe I am the only one out there who feels like this, but I feel really torn sometimes about blogging. I am not on Facebook, Instagram, or any other social media thingys. Okay, one of my young woman did put snap chat on my phone, but I just like looking at the pictures- not sending my own. Anywho- I feel torn because I feel like a lot of people begin to live their lives just to blog about it or say it on Facebook- almost doing something to just take the pic and let everyone know, instead of really being present in the moment and authentically enjoying what they are doing. There are many things that pop into my head that I think would make a good post on my blog- but then I worry it may sound braggy or be misunderstood. Then I read the book by Stephanie Nielson who was burned in the airplane crash and have felt so inspired. Its almost bizarre how inspiring she has been- I almost feel sneaky knowing so much about her and she has no clue who I am. I felt inspired however to really start blogging more because in the end, it will be my family who will appreciate remembering our experiences. So, basically I hope to not sound like my life is perfect, because it is not, but man it is pretty good. Here we go to more posts- we will see how long this lasts =)