Recovering Perfectionist

(I chose this picture because there is a small zit by my eye and it drove me crazy!)

Hi, my name is Kendra, and I am a Perfectionist.

I am on my way to becoming a "recovering Perfectionist."  I have researched many times trying to find books to help me with this characteristic of mine.  If I have an issue, I read a book.  It is actually really difficult to find information on Perfectionism.  I finally came across one called, "Am I a Saint Yet?  Healing the Pain of Perfectionism."  By M. Sue Bergin.  I have only just begun this book, but will most likely be posting about what I am learning from it- for those of you who don't suffer from this, you can ignore me, or you may have a relationship with someone who is.  We all in fact have a small form of it in some area of our life, but some of us it affects many areas of our lives.  I am actually forcing my boo to read it with me since we are both in fact perfectionists- I know, poor kids right?

When you are a perfectionist, you have extremely high expectations for yourself and others.  So here is a small lesson for parenting if you don't want to cause perfectionism in your children:

When we only give attention to our children when they have performed well (can cause perfectionism).  Expressing love for external performance, such as getting good grades, excelling athletically, looking good, playing an instrument well, or keeping things neat and orderly.  If our children act embarrassed or ashamed when they didn't perform to our expectations instead of encouraging them and reminding them of their strengths, then they will likely learn to draw their sense of self-worth from external approval.

Which we don't want this for our children, we want them to be valued as a Child of God, not by their successes and failures.  Remember to praise their efforts, not the results.  This is not to say we don't have high standards for our children, because we do.  To have "High Standards" is to have strivings to be a better person with feelings of satisfaction and peace, EVEN IF YOU FALL SHORT.  And yes, we all fall short sometimes... I hate that, but soon I will be okay with that =)